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Okay, here is the Humor for Haters: Bill Gates! version. But, I love Billy G. and Microsoft, so I guess you don't have to hate them to enjoy a good laugh at their expense.  This is Bill after he got hit with a pie. The animation is above, but this is a better picture of him with pie on his face.
 He just looks funny here, so I had to put it up. Ha.
 I don't think there is any explanation for this.... other than (if you didn't already know) Microsoft's old motto/slogan/chant/prayer/whatever was "Where do you want to go today?"
 Bill Gates is the MASTER of getting pictures of him taken at EXACTLY the wrong time LoL! I have NO IDEA what he was doing here, but it certainly DOES look evil LoL!
Now, we are done with the images (for now! I need to find more before I can put them on here, don't I?) So we'll move on to jokes at Billy's expense! Yay! This one is thanks to Jay Leno, I laughed my ass off when I saw it. Too bad I don't have a pic... 'Bill Gates Buys Gas, Now Just A Millionaire!' Keep in mind that I probably didn't make these up, so don't blame me if you don't laugh, but I laughed. Bill Gates Goes To Hell Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" asks Lucifer "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Ctrl, Alt and Delete." This next one wasn't written by me, same as the last one, but don't blame me for the stupidity of this one. For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time: Jennifer Katharine Gates, weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces when she was downloaded, er, born on Friday, April 26 at 6:11 p.m. And what do Baby Gates and Daddy’s products have in common? 1. Neither can stand on its own two feet without a LOT of third party support. 2. Both barf all over themselves regularly. 3. Regardless of the problem, calling Microsoft Tech Support won’t help. 4. As they mature, we pray that they will be better than that which preceded them. 5. At first release they’re relatively compact, but they seem to grow and grow and grow with each passing year. 6. Although announced with great fanfare, pretty much anyone could have produced one. 7. They arrive in shaky condition with inadequate documentation. 8. No matter what, it takes several months between the announcement and the actual release. 9. Bill gets the credit, but someone else did most of the work. 10. For at least the next year, they'll suck. |
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